How I Try to Cultivate Happiness

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” – Albert Camus

You might say that cultivating happiness is a step above maintaining perspective. To maintain perspective is to ground or calm oneself. Being happy while maintaining perspective is an entirely different ballpark. As someone who has struggled with depression in the past and has only recently climbed out of it: Cultivating happiness is hard. It is easier said than done.

In response to this question, people will often say: Practice self-care, treat yourself, and other such phrases along those lines. Yet, what does all that actually mean? How do we put all of that into practice? What do self-care and treating yourself actually mean?

Admittedly, I get annoyed when I hear these terms because of how often they appear on social media apps like Instagram. Posts that center around happiness and self-care are often paired with pictures of people waking up early, calmly making breakfast, or doing yoga. Because Instagram feels so illusionary, practices that consistently cultivate happiness feel hard to maintain.

Instead of trying to follow advice from social media, I figured I needed to turn inward.

So, here are 5 things I do to try and cultivate my own happiness.

1. Cultivate a Group of Friends that Bring You Up not Down

I still struggle to carry this practice out properly. I sometimes still find myself reaching out to individuals who might not have my best interests in mind. While all friendships have rocky moments, they should mostly make you feel happy and energized. If you find yourself stuck in constant drama and return from outings drained: It might be time to pause and reexamine your social circle. As cliché as it is, friends are there to bring you up, not down. You all should view each other on equal terms. Otherwise misery is inbound. Because I still struggle with weeding out toxic people from my life, I often struggle with properly cultivating happiness. It is always good to pause and reflect on the dynamics of your friend group.

2. Only Seek Comfort with those You Trust

Very much like making sure one maintains a healthy friend group, the people you confide in also matter. In the past, I personally have confided in people who either contributed to “the noise” or possessed ulterior motives. At worst, they abandoned me when I sought reciprocation in areas of comfort. It is hard to cultivate happiness without a healthy group one can turn to in times when comfort is necessary. Attempting to avoid emotional expression is not the path to cultivating happiness. For me, the group of people I trust the most are my parents. For others, it may be friends or other distant family members.

3. Cultivate your Hobbies

When I feel down, I often find myself returning to my hobbies. For me these hobbies range from reading, writing, watching movies, video games, or playing team sports. To me, sports and working out are one of the best outlets not only for maintaining perspective but also cultivating happiness. My major and minor contain a lot of my passions so when I want to shake everything up I often turn to sports or working out. Though if you play team sports, always remember that the people you surround yourself with matter. Toxic coaches and teammates can ruin a sport's ability to generate happiness. Always be mindful of how you feel around your teammates and coach. Going to the gym and bringing a trusted friend along works just as well.

4. Live in the Moment

When I feel happy, I often fear that it will quickly be taken away or think of times in the past when it has been taken away. This replaces feelings of happiness with feelings of anxiousness. Perpetual happiness is unattainable. No matter what, life will always have its rocky moments. If you continue to constantly worry about when feelings of happiness will end: You will never be happy. Additionally, happiness does not begin or end with acceptance into grad school, a job, etc. If you are constantly seeking happiness from validations from the material world: You will also never be happy.

5. Social Media is an Illusion

Refraining from going on the social app Twitter was one of the better decisions I have made. I often got caught in what some call “doom scrolling.” When I was unhappy with something, I would subconsciously turn to Twitter and look at posts that validated my toxic thoughts. When I took a step back from the app and directed my energy into other facets of my life instead, the fog of depression began to lift. The same practices can be applied to apps such as Tiktok or Instagram. As I mentioned in the previous tips, pausing and reflecting on the feelings these apps give you are significant when it comes to cultivating happiness.

At the very least, I hope this list provided fresh insight to those like me who sometimes struggle with cultivating happiness.